New year, old me. But i keep coming.
Happy new year
Haven't been here in over a month. A lot of things i changed in my life. Like I said before in previos posts, I've been doing a lot of work on myself. I dropped the original 95 kg, which at my height (189cm or 6.1-6.2ft) in principle is not visible, but still were on the sides of the extra moments. Now my weight between 85-87.
With that, i start training and take a long walks. Few hours of training and 2-3 hours of walk with music in my ears. Help a lot i must say. Got all the old tails sorted out and now ready to take on new projects in my life. Change black coffee and ciggaretes to green tea and ciggaretes ;D.
Has life gotten better? Not really. But it's freer, healthier and more fun.
Projects don't make money
I was able to sell two web services, a couple of old projects of purely software direction. And as sad as it was, they only brought me 1400$. It's not bad considering, i am without work almost half of the year. I mean without normal work, like 5 days in office or something.
On the other hand, regained my 3d skills. My last job was completely stagnant because I did all the same things. And when I had time, I started experimenting and it's already much better. But now I have two folders on my artstation. Old and New. Old looking trashy. Although I'm on fire with the 3d industry, but the situation is that the 3d market in my country is not in demand right now. Of course there is work, but it is not paid at all. And compared to the same 2020s, salaries have fallen by about 50%.
To keep my pants on, I got a job in food delivery. You're self-employed, you deliver when it's convenient and how it's convenient. Money-wise, it's rock bottom, but on the other hand it's enough to pay for everything. Thanks to my parents, i do not need to pay up for rent. I have my own place to live, not with them, just got the place to live from them. Then made some repair work and my appartment is perfect.
I'm tired of the city
Living in a metropolis, that is my whole life has me swamped. I want to nature. Very often I think about what would trade the convenience of heating, water in the tap and electricity for a good brick house outside the city. It would be even more expensive than living in an apartment. But I'm just tired of the crowds on the streets, the constant noise, the stone jungle.
Disappointment in dating
In 2024, I had 12 dates. In terms of full dates. With cafes, with flowers and walks, with movies and candy, with hanging out under the evening TV. I mentioned in previos posts that i am Bi, so i have a wider options. But no one get under my skin so to speak.
I have one big problem that I'm well aware of. I've spent most of my life learning anything. Lots of hobbies, four professions, and more. I can't be surprised by knowledge in a specific field. I'm likely to have at least a superficial understanding of what it's about.
But there aren't a lot of people like that. And the big mass is to dance to music, watch the most popular and trendy TV series, and of course shopping, gaming, and so on. Even literature has long been divided into golden classics and pseudo-philosophical pops.You know, sometimes you sit listening to a person, and in the eyes of the interlocutor you see either lack of understanding or lack of interest. You let the person lead the conversation and the topics slip back to popular trends, news, and so on.
As they say, you can't get enough of sex because you have to talk. Some people say: Just live your life and you'll meet someone. 3.5 decades and still single.
And waking up alone in the mornings and hugging my pillow in the evenings is getting harder, even though I'm an introvert.
Plans for this year
There aren't any. I'm just gonna keep moving forward, which is what I wish for all of you. I'm not expecting great things, victories or disappointments. It's all just a soft smile of understanding for a long time now. Will write something later again. Kiss you all people. Keep walking.
Mood for now: Some Music